Can a Christian date and marry an unbeliever according to the Bible? It happens often that Christians meet someone they like, develop feelings, fall in love, and become romantically involved, while that person is not a Christian. Instead of following the Word of God that warns about a relationship with an unbeliever and becoming an unequal yoke, they follow their feelings. Ekuqaleni, when the Christian and the unbeliever are dating and are in love, they may not encounter problems. But once the Christian and non-Christian are married, problems arise and many times the marriage ends in a divorce. That’s because an unequal yoke is the way to destruction. What does the Bible say about a relationship with an unbeliever and becoming an unequal yoke?
Does God approve of marriage to a non-believer?
How often do Christians meet non-Christians and fall in love and say, “But the Lord gave me the approval to marry this person. The Lord told me, that this person will eventually repent and accept Jesus”.
Dear saints, let me remind you, that the devil is a liar! IBhayibheli lithi, that the devil comes as an angel of light. This means that it is difficult to discern the devil from Jesus. Only if you know the UJesu Kristu weqiniso, Who is the living Word and you have the Holy Spirit abiding in you, you discern the truth from the lie.
Esimweni esinjalo, if you receive a revelation, telling you that God approves your relationship with an unbeliever, Kungamanga avela kuDeveli!!!
Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light (2 AbaseKorinte 11:2)
Maybe there are some marriages of Christians who married non-Christians, in which the unbelieving spouse repented and accepted Jesus Christ after some time. But those cases are very rare.
And let’s not forget the most important factor. This revelation and so-called approval of marrying an unbeliever and becoming an unequal yoke oppose the Bible; IZwi LikaNkulunkulu.
Does God approve of marrying a non-believer?
God is very clear in the Bible about marrying a non-believer; God forbade His people both in the Old and New Covenant of marrying unbelievers. Because what has righteousness in common with unrighteousness and the light with darkness?
There was only one exception in the Bible and that was in the life of Hosea. God instructed Hosea to take a strange woman (non-believer, Gentile). But that was for a specific reason. It was meant to confront Israel with their behavior towards God. You can’t use the example of Hosea to approve of a relationship with an unbeliever (non-Christian).
What is the danger of an unequal yoke according to the Bible?
The danger of an unequal yoke is revealed in the Bible. Let me remind you of the story of Solomon. If you haven’t read this blog post, you can click on the following link: Ungena kanjani endleleni eya ekubhujisweni?
Solomon took a lot of strange women, because he loved them. Despite God’s warnings to Solomon to not take strange women, Solomon followed his feelings and emotions instead of God’s words. By taking strange women, Solomon put the strange women above the words of God. Solomon showed through his life that his love for strange women was greater and stronger than his love for God and His Word.
Solomon became an unequal yoke with these strange women and you see what happened to Solomon at the end of his life. Now Solomon isn’t the only example. Look at the book of Ezra (U-Ezra 9:2-12) and Nehemiah (UNehemiya 10:13. 13:25).
Esivumelwaneni Esisha, Paul wrote a letter to the church at Corinth. In this letter Paul warned the church about an unequal yoke. Paul commanded Christians to not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
Anihlangane ngokungalingani nabangakholwayo: Ngoba ubudlelwane bani kunokulunga ngokungalungi? nokuthi yimiphi imá? (2 AbaseKorinte 6:14)
Paul saw the danger and reminded the carnal Christians of the words of God. He warned them of the trap of the devil.
The devil knows the weakness of the flesh
The devil knows exactly how to seduce and tempt people to sin and draw them to his side. He wants to captivate people, so that he can make their lives miserable and destroy their lives. Because that’s the nature of the devil; to lie, ukweba, bulala, futhi ubhubhise. To get what he wants, the devil uses the weakness of the flesh. (Funda futhi: Amandla kasathane asetshenziswa yisono).
As long as Christians stay carnal and walk after the flesh, it will be easy for the devil and his minions and workers, to tempt and seduce Christians. When he succeeds in persuading Christians to disobey God’s word and commandment, he destroys and causes the believer to fall.
The devil uses charming handsome men and pretty women, to tempt and seduce Christians in the flesh.
The devil uses everyone, -lingeneyo (amanga) abaprofethi, who walk after the flesh and say that God approves of marrying an unbeliever.
Njengoba kulotshiwe ngaphambili, the devil comes as an angel of light. The devil can give you a vision or a dream, telling you that is all right to marry an unbeliever and that God approves of dating and marrying an unbeliever.
Why should the Bible be the final authority in your life?
But saints, let the final authority in your life always be the Bible; IZwi LikaNkulunkulu. If a word, isiprofetho, umbono, iphupho, voice, njll., contradicts the Word of God, please reject it, instead of believing and acting upon that word, umbono, iphupho, voice, njll. The only thing trustworthy in your life is the Word of God.
IBhayibheli; the Word doesn’t lie, doesn’t contradict, but the Word is the Truth. (Funda futhi: The visible Bible that connects people with the invisible God).
Examples of Christian women, who married, and entered a marriage covenant with non-Christian men
I know many women, who were devoted Christians until they met handsome men, who weren’t born-again Christians.
They thought it was from God, because of the way they met, which was very extraordinary and special and looked like a miracle.
In the beginning of their relationships, the men seemed to be interested in Jesus and Christianity. They also attended church (this is just one of the many tactics to win Christian women).
But then they got married and after some time their unbelieving spouse stopped attending church and stayed home instead.
Their character changed and okomhlaba things entered their marriages.
Ekugcineni, their marriages became a struggle. They experienced a lot of problems, ubuhlungu, usizi, (ngokomzwelo) ukuhlukunyezwa, njll. After only a few years, these marriages ended in divorce. (Funda futhi: Lithini iBhayibheli ngedivosi?)
I can tell you a lot of similar stories about marital problems in an unequal yoke marriage, and about unequal yoke marriages that ended up in a divorce. They all thought they could convert their unbelieving spouse, but they believed the wrong person. They should have believed and obeyed the words of God instead of believing the lie of the devil.
Don’t be led by your feelings and become an unequal yoke, but be led by the Word of God and become one
Although Solomon lived in the Old Covenant and was the old creation, we can still learn from the story of Solomon and not make the same mistake by being carnal and ruled by feelings. We should rule over feelings and emotions, love Jesus and keep His commandments, which are also the commandments of God.
When the Bible says to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, you must obey the Word of God and follow His counsel. This means that you shall not become romantically involved and have a relationship with an unbeliever and be unequally yoked. (Funda futhi: ‘Imiyalo kaNkulunkulu nemiyalo kaJesu‘).
Despite the warnings of God in the Bible, many Christians are prideful and put themselves above the words of God. They think they know it better than God and they will convert their husband or wife eventually and draw the unbeliever to their side.
But God knows the weakness of the flesh. God knows that the believer will not draw the unbeliever. Kunalokho, the unbeliever will draw the believing Christian to his or her side.
An unequal yoke will lead the Christian to destruction and that is exactly the intando kaSathane. It is certainly not the will of God! But it is up to the people whether to believe the words of God and obey His words or to not believe the words of God but trust their feelings and insights.
Therefore stay obedient to the Word and let the Bible; the Word of God be the final authority in your life. Don’t put the creature above the Creator but stay faithful to the Creator.
“Yiba usawoti womhlaba”
