What does the Bible say about divorce?

In most western countries, almost half the marriages end up in a divorce. That’s a very sad thing to hear. You might think, that this high divorce rate applies only to unbelievers, but unfortunately that’s not true. Many marriages of Christians also end up in a divorce. But why do so many Christians get a divorce? Why is the divorce rate among Christians so high? Well, the answer to this question is, that most Christians are not born again and stay carnal. This might be shocking to you, but it’s true. Most Christians stay carnal and live like the world and therefore the spirit of divorce also operates in their lives. Many Christians stay the old creation and live after the flesh, which means they are controlled by their senses, emotions, thoughts, feelings, will, lusts, desires, etc., and feed themselves with the things of this world. Instead of feeding themselves with the Word and being led by the Word and the Spirit, Who represents the will of God. But what is God’s view on divorce? What does the Bible say about divorce? Does God approve of divorce and is divorce God’s will or is divorce a sin? What did Jesus say about divorce? When may a Christian divorce?

Who is the new creation?

When you become born again in Christ, you become a new creation. You’ve changed from the old creation into the new creation. The new creation is born of the Spirit of God and has received the nature of God, by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will reveal His will to you.

Through Jesus Christ, by His blood, you were reconciled with God and transferred from the kingdom of darkness, into the Kingdom of God, where Jesus Christ is King (Colossians 1:13-14). Therefore you are no longer a henchman of the devil. You are no longer a son of the devil, but you have become a son of God (this applies to both males and females).

delivered from the power of darkness, redeemed by His blood

Before you became born again, you were the old creation. You were carnal and lived after the flesh. The devil was the ruler of your life, and he wanted you to keep living in sin. Because by sinning, the devil could keep you in bondage.

All the characteristics of the devil were present in you (your flesh), like selfishness, haughtiness, pride, a desire of being worshipped and exalted by others, impatience, angriness, agitation, jealousy, envy, fear, gossip, speaking evil about others (which is killing others with your words), lying, etc.

But when you became a new creation, you received a new nature; the nature of God. You exchanged your old carnal nature with its evil character for a new godly nature with a righteous and holy character.

This new character of the spirit, loves God with all the mind, soul, heart, and strength and loves his neighbour as himself, and has joy, peace, long-suffering, tolerance, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, patience, temperance, and life, etc.

It’s not about you, but about Him

When you became a new creation, it was no longer about you, but about Him. It was no longer about, what you wanted, but what God wants; what the Word says. Because you have laid down your life. You’ve died in Jesus Christ and buried your ‘self’, the old creation, through baptism. From that moment on, it was no longer the carnal you, who lives, but Jesus Christ in you, who lives.

If we would all die to ‘self’, and begin to live after the Spirit, doing what the Word says, then there would be unity. There would be unity in the church, unity among the saints, unity in marriage, unity in families, etc.. 

So, if there is so much disharmony among the children of God, we can conclude that the ‘self’ has not died yet. Everyone still has their own opinions, instead of having God’s opinion, doing his or her own will instead of God’s will, and going his or her own way instead of God’s way. (Read also: ‘Not my opinion, but His opinion’)

Now with all this in mind, let’s have a look at the subject of divorce in the Bible. Let’s have a look at what kind of arguments and excuses many Christians use to get a divorce, as opposed to what the scriptures in the Bible say about divorce. What does the Bible say about divorce? Under what conditions may a Christian divorce?

‘Don’t be so old-fashioned,
divorces are part of the age we live in!’

This is a big lie of the devil. During all ages, divorces were part of humanity: before and during the time of Moses, during the time of Jesus, and during the time of the apostles. Moses, Jesus, and also Paul and Peter talked about marriage and divorce in the Bible.

What we do see, is that we live at the end of the last days. We see a rapid increase in sin and iniquity. People, including believers, are rebellious and don’t what to be told what to do. Instead, they do what they want to do and live according to their own will, after their own lusts and desires of the flesh.

They are selfish and have no respect for others. They don’t listen to the Word of God, let alone submit to the Word of God and obey the Word of God. Therefore they don’t live after the Word of God anymore and don’t do His will.

Their love for themselves and the world is greater than their love for God. Because if they would love God, and love Jesus, then they would obey His Word. They would keep His commandments and live according to His will.

Divorce is a result of the hardness of the heart 

Let’s have a look at what Jesus said about divorce and the divorce letter that Moses gave. Jesus said, “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8).

If people want to get a divorce, then Jesus says, that the cause of the divorce is the hardness of the heart.

When we look at the translation of hardness of the heart, we see that the Greek word is ‘sklērokardía‘ (G4641 Strong’s concordance) and means: hard-heartedness, i.e. (specially), destitution of (spiritual) perception:—hardness of heart.

Their heart was not converted and they were not spiritual, but they lived after their own will and lusts and desires of the flesh. They didn’t want to submit to the will of God; to His commandments and ordinances, but they wanted to live after their own will.

The hardness of the heart means spiritual poverty. If the Spirit doesn’t reign in someone’s life, the flesh reigns. And if the flesh reigns, it means that the person is unspiritual and therefore spiritually poor. The believer is carnal and will bear the fruit of the flesh, instead of the fruit of the Spirit.

“But my husband isn’t a believer, and my life is so hard. I’m not sure how long I can take this”

The Word says, that by the woman’s walk; by her way of living, and by her behaviour, the husband will be drawn to the Kingdom of God (Read also How to convert your spouse’). 

Therefore if your spouse is not converted yet, then he is not the only one, who is responsible and the cause of all your disagreements, fights, etc. But it is also because of your behaviour and your walk. Examine your life and look at the kind of fruit you produce.

convert your spouse

You may have another opinion or experience, but the Bible is the truth and goes beyond your opinion and experience.

Are you going through a rough time? Then turn to the Word, listen to what the Word has to say, and obey the word. Remember that the Lord says, that His commandments are not heavy at all.

The Word encourages you and gives you strength and peace. The Lord says, “I give you peace”.  Jesus doesn’t say, “I give you anxiety or depression”. Therefore, when you are exhausted, wearied, anxious, depressed, and about to give up, then turn to the Word, spend time with Him and stay in Him.

When you do what the Word says, and walk after the Spirit, you shall bear the fruit of the Spirit in your life.

The more time you spend with Him, renew your mind, and do what the Bible tells you to do, the more Jesus will become visible in your life and your spouse will be drawn to Him and will repent. Because the Word says that by your walk; your behaviour, your husband shall repent.

Yes, but my pastor approves divorce”

A pastor should be an ambassador of the Kingdom of God and represent the Word of God and live a life like Jesus. That means, that a pastor should know the Word, obey the Word, and be a doer of the Word (Read also: ‘The hearers versus the doers‘).

A pastor should always stay loyal to the Word of God and represent the Word of God to the people. Because it’s not about what the pastor wants or about the pastor’s opinion, findings, etc. but it’s all about what God wants and what God’s will is in this matter. What is God’s will for divorce? What does the Bible say about divorce?

A born-again Christian shall never approve of divorce, because he or she shall always stay obedient to the Word of God and represent and do the will of God.

So, if your pastor has approved to get a divorce and the reason is not fornication or that the unbeliever has left you, then my question to you is: “who do you obey? Your pastor or God?”

“Yes, but my pastor is also divorced”

Unfortunately, there are many pastors, who are divorced. Some pastors have even been married and divorced multiple times and still preach from the pulpit. How is that possible? Because they are charismatic eloquent motivational speakers or have inherited their pastor’s office from their family or… (fill out the blanks).

But this behavior shows that the fallen pastor is carnal and prefers to do his will and fulfill the lusts and desires of the flesh instead of submitting to Jesus Christ and doing the will of the Father.

The pastor is still under the bondage of sin and a worker of unrighteousness and controlled by a spirit of adultery and still serves sin and death by obeying this spirit of adultery, instead of reigning over sin and death and walking after the Spirit in holiness and being a worker of righteousness. 

The people may say, “God forgives”. And of course, God forgives if someone truly repents of his or her sins, but many times a pastor only opens up and repents because he or she has been caught. Therefore many times, the fallen pastor, who is reinstated, commits the same sin again. Besides that, the Word nowhere commands to reinstate a fallen pastor in the office of pastor after he or she willfully sinned. On the contrary, the Bible is very clear about this. (Read also: ‘Lay hands on no one suddenly’)

If the pastor willfully sins, how can the pastor discipline and correct the people and tell them to repent and remove the sins from their lives? Exactly, the pastor can’t because people will say, “but you have done that too.” 

‘I have received a word from God; God told me to divorce my spouse. God approved and instructed me to get a divorce’

Some people receive a word, dream, vision, or prophecy about their spouse, in which God is telling them, that their marriage is not God’s will and that God told them to get a divorce, so that they can wholeheartedly serve God.

the devil as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour

If you have received a similar word, then you can reject that word immediately!

It’s amazing how many people receive these words and believe that it’s coming from God. This can’t be a word, dream, vision, or prophecy from God, because God can’t contradict Himself.

In Malachi 2:16 God says that He hates divorce.

If God hates divorce, then how can God instruct you to get a divorce or approve your divorce? That’s impossible!

The Holy Spirit and the Word always cooperate together. They can’t contradict Each Other.

When you have received a word or a dream, vision, prophecy, etc, that is not in agreement with the Word of God, then you must always reject it. No matter how wonderful and promising the word, dream vision, or prophecy may be. Because if that word, dream, vision, or prophecy contradicts the Word, then it didn’t come from God, but from the angel of light (the devil), who tried to lead you into temptation and caused you to sin against God.

Under which two conditions may a Christian divorce?

The Bible says, when a man (or woman) commits fornication, then the spouse has a right to get a divorce.

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matthew 5:32).

Another reason is, when the unbeliever leaves his spouse, who is a believer.

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace (1 Corinthians 7:15)

So, a Christian may divorce when the spouse commits fornication or when the unbelieving spouse leaves him or her.

What does the Bible say about divorce?

What does the Bible say about divorce? First of all, you must know that when you get married, you are in a marriage covenant. Every covenant is holy for the Lord. Just like we are in a New Covenant, through Jesus Christ, a man and a woman are in a marriage covenant. The marriage covenant ends when one of the two dies (1 Corinthians 7:39, Romans 7:1-3). But let’s have a look at some Scriptures about divorce in the Bible and what God says about divorce and what Jesus says about divorce:

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously (Malachi 2:15-16)

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery (Matthew 5:31-32)

‘What God has joined together, let no man put asunder’

And Jesus answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoso marries her which is put away doth commit adultery (Matthew 19:4-9)

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:9)

Paul wrote to the church of Corinth the following:

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

Divorce is not the will of God

What does God in the Bible say about divorce? What’s God’s view on divorce? Is divorce God’s will? We can conclude from the scriptures in the Bible that divorce is not the will of God. God hates divorce! If God hates divorce and we are His children and have His nature, shouldn’t we hate divorce too?

As sons of God, it’s not about our findings, opinions, and what we want, and the world’s findings and opinions, but it’s all about what God wants. God has bought us with the precious blood of Jesus Christ and we belong to God. He is our Lord and we should live according to the will of God. It is therefore impossible, as a son or daughter of God to divorce.

the two great commandments, If you love Me keep My commandments

If you are thinking about a divorce or if you are in the process of getting a divorce, you may ask yourself the following question: “are you really born again, and do you love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? And do you serve God and please the Spirit? Or do you love yourself and do you serve yourself and please your flesh?

If you are born again and really love God and serve God, then you should know His Word. You should renew your mind with the Word of God and apply His words in your life, so that you become a doer of the Word and show God that you love Him. Because if you love Him, you shall keep His commandments (Read also: ‘The hearers vs the doers‘).

If you don’t study His Word and keep living after your flesh doing your own will and being led by your feelings, opinions, and findings, then you are equal to a runaway boat without a rudder.

No one forces you to do God’s will. You have made Jesus Christ your Savior and the Lord over your life.

What is God’s will in marriage?

You have made the choice to serve Jesus. If you have decided to serve Jesus, then that means, that you should really serve Jesus and that you do His will instead of your will.

Doing God’s will in marriage means, that you will serve one another. It’s not about receiving but about it’s about giving.

Jesus commanded to love God above all, which means among others, that you will do His will and secondly Jesus commanded to love your neighbour as yourself. In marriage, this means, that you should love your spouse as yourself. It means, that you should treat the other, the way you want to be treated and don’t mistreat your spouse, by lying to your spouse, cheating on your spouse, mentally or physically abusing your spouse, etc.

When you start doing this and don’t think about yourself, you shall see that your marriage and your life will change.

‘Be the salt of the earth’ 

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