Living together unmarried or cohabitation has become a common thing in the western world. What has started in Scandinavia (Europe) by non-religious young people, has spread all over the western countries during the past few decades. Young non-believers didn’t want to commit to the bonds of marriage anymore. They didn’t want to be told what to do and how to live their lives. They didn’t want to submit themselves to all kinds of rules. Instead, they wanted to be free and live their own lives and making their own choices in life. Unfortunately, the decline of Christianity has influenced the western culture and its moral standards. It has caused a change of morals, including replacing the institution of marriage for cohabitation. Many people are living together unmarried and don’t see the need to get married. Now, you would think that cohabitation is part of the world, and that only non-believers are living together unmarried. But unfortunately, that’s not the case. Due to the carnal mind and the worldliness and the fact that many Christians, keep walking after the flesh, many believers have adapted the customs of the world, including cohabitation; living together unmarried. They have the spirit of this world living inside of them and therefore they live just like the world. They have replaced the institution of marriage for cohabitation, and use many lies to approve it. Because you must get to know each other before you’ll get married and make a marriage commitment. Therefore they consider it a normal and good thing to live together before marriage. But although they may consider it a good thing, will God consider it a good thing? What is His will? What does the Word say about living together unmarried? Is it allowed for Christians to be living together unmarried or not?
The marriage covenant
God has instituted marriage as a holy commitment and covenant between a man and a woman. Through marriage the man will be bound to a woman and they shall become one flesh. Because of the fact, that marriage is an institution coming from God, He will provide His blessing.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Gen 2:24)
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mat 19:4-6)
God hates divorce
Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He hates putting away (send away): for one covers violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that you deal not treacherously. (Mal 2:15-16)
The devil hates the marriage covenant
However, the devil hates every covenant that God has instituted, including the marriage covenant. He shall do everything he can to defile and destroy the marriage covenant. How does he do that? By instituting same-sex marriages, so that the holy marriage covenant will be defiled by his works. Because God considers homosexuality as an abomination, and that will never change (read also: what does the Word say about homosexuality?) Isn’t it odd, that homosexuals do everything they can to make same-sex marriages legal, while heterosexuals don’t want to get married anymore, but live together unmarried?
The devil uses adultery and divorce to defile and break the marriage covenant. But he also uses cohabitation and make Christians believe, that there is nothing wrong with living together unmarried or to be living together before marriage.
Many believers consider cohabitation as rather good, because how else will you get to know the person? If you live apart from each other, you will not be able to fully get to know each other. Maybe distance plays a role and therefore it’s easier to move in together. Many believers also say, that times are changing, and therefore it’s ok to be living together unmarried.
Yes, the devil uses many lies to mislead the believers and causes them to believe his words, so that they will live according to his will instead of God’s will. Just like he did in the garden of Eden, when he tempted Eve with his misleading words.
But a true son or daughter of God, who is filled with the Holy Spirit and therefore has His nature, shall never live together unmarried. Because living together unmarried is outside the bond of marriage, and therefore it’s a sin. The Holy Spirit, Who dwells in the person, shall convict the person of this sin.
What does the Word say about living together unmarried?
Jesus is very clear about having a man or woman, who isn’t your spouse. When Jesus sat down by the well of Jacob in Sichar, which is a city in Samaria, a Samaritan woman came to draw water. When Jesus asked her to give Him water to drink, she replied, how He, a Jew, could ask her, a Samaritan, to give Him water to drink. Because Jews were not allowed to hang out with Samaritans. Then Jesus witnessed about the living water, that only He could provide. When the woman heard His words, she asked Jesus to give her of this living water. Now, let’s see, what Jesus said to her:
Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly (Joh 4:17-18).
This woman had five men, who weren’t her legal husbands and the one she had at that moment wasn’t her husband either. She was together with a man, whom she didn’t marry and Jesus confronted her with this matter.
Living together unmarried is not according to God’s will
If you live together, with someone, who isn’t your spouse, than it’s not according to God’s will. Therefore you live in sin. It doesn’t matter if you have a sexual relationship or not. The fact is, that you live under the same roof and share a household together outside the bond of marriage
This also applies to unmarried Christians, who are sleeping together. If you live together or if you live apart but have a sexual relationship with someone, who isn’t your spouse you commit fornication. Fornication is not according to God’s will and therefore a sin.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband (1 Co 7:1-2)
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (1 Co 7:8-9)
Living like the world
Those, who are living together unmarried and/or have a sexual relationship, without being married, have the mind of the world and do the works of the world. Therefore, they belong to the world. According to the Word, they commit fornication. The person can say that (s)he is a believer, but his/her works say something else. Remember, that the devil also believes and he is not saved. Only the works and life of a person prove to whom a person belongs: the world (devil) or Jesus Christ.
All those, who love Jesus shall listen to His words, obey His words and therefore shall live according to His will. They shall remove all the sins and uncleanness of this world, that causes separation between them and God out of their lives. But those, who listen to what the world and what people say, shall live like the world and shall do those things, that are an abomination to God and goes against His will. Therefore, the life of a person shows, to whom a person belongs.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Heb 13:4 note: this has been written after the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ and therefore part of the new covenant)
The church has failed
It is the responsibility of the church to bind and to loose; to forbid the works of the kingdom of darkness and to permit the works of the Kingdom of God. However, the church has not guarded her gates properly. The church didn’t close the doors of her gate for the works of the world. Instead, the church has opened her doors and allowed the works of the world, including fornication into the church. Because if you live together unmarried you commit fornication.
When the first signs of cohabitation became visible and when more and more young people wanted and decided to live together unmarried, the church should have taken her stand upon the Word. She should have stayed faithful in representing the Kingdom of God and should have stayed faithful to the Word, Who says that God has instituted the marriage covenant.
The church should have disciplined and corrected the young people, within her congregation, who wanted to live together unmarried. She should have addressed that living together unmarried is fornication and is not according to God’s will. Then if the young people decided to not listen and to stay rebellious against the words of God, the church should have removed the persons out of the church, for the sake and well-being and protection of the other believers in the congregation. Because a little leaven leavens the whole lump.
Besides that, if the church would have taken a stand on the Word and stay faithful to the Word, the fear of the Lord would have remained in the church.
But the church didn’t act that way. Instead of taking a stand on the Word; Jesus, and stay faithful to Him, they have bowed for the rebellious young people, and made concessions with the world. By allowing believers to live together unmarried, they have allowed the spirit of this world and the spirit of fornication inside of the church. Maybe the church was afraid of losing the young people. But the result of this action is that the church is now full of (hidden) sexual uncleanness, like living together unmarried, fornicators, adulterers, cheaters, ’Johns’, whoremongers, homosexuals, sneaky porn watchers, pedophiles and so on.
Caught in a web of lies
All those things, which are an abomination for God are being done, by His so-called sons and daughters. The devil has succeeded in taking the church captive by his lies. And the worst thing is, that most believers, including the leaders of the church are spiritually blind. Therefore, they don’t see and realise that they are caught in the devil’s web of lies. They still think, that they are pleasing God, while He has already left them. Because how can righteousness have communion with unrighteousness? How can holiness have communion with sin?
Jesus dealt with sin and the sin problem of the fallen nature of man, so that by becoming born again, every one had the ability to become a new creation without the sin nature and therefore walk as a son or daughter of God in righteousness and holiness.
The church and people can approve all kinds of things, but the Word is the truth and the Word decides. Eventually, it will be the Word and not man, who will judge every man according to his works (Rev 20:12, 15). Therefore, says the Lord: “Repent, while you still can and remove the sins, which are those things that I hate and are an abomination to Me and go against My will, out of your life”
‘Be the salt of the world’